It’s a place I don’t like to go to. Most memories I wish to forget. A life I lived and choices I made that I regret. Undeniably, it’s made me who I am. Pages that are filled the thoughts of a confused little girl. Not knowing the answers she was begging for would cause so much pain. Who was at fault? She was. She wasn’t, but needed someone to blame so she blamed the girl starring back at her. Just wanted to be away from all the judgement, away from all the chaos and be a child. She never asked for this. Grew up too fast. The days outside playing in the grass while the sun warmed her pale skin, those days are foggy memories. The pain seems all too familiar, all to present. Unlike the absent parent she longed for. Pen and paper. That would calm her anxiety. Hiding away in her room, she felt safe there… usually. Unloading her thoughts, page by page. Since no one else would listen that’s where she spent most of her time, in her head. Too young to understand and no one took the time to explain. She knew she was loved, but she didn’t feel it. Love, it was one of the many questions she had. Love seemed out of her reach.
Years down the road, loved is all she feels and is many times overwhelmed by it.
This is to all the amazing humans in my life at this moment. I am reminded daily just how blessed I am to be surrounded by such beauty and talent. Keep being great! Love and appreciate every single one of you!